I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
