no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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