I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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