did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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