The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
