I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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