im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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