Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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