OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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