it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
