last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
