Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
