I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
