She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
