But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm too high and old for this...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
