I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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