i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
