I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
