and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
