whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
