Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
