DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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