I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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