At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
