you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
