Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
