does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
