I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
