even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
