we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
