Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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