new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
