so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
