now i know why i became what i already was.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
