you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
