yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
