My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
