So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
