i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
