things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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