I faked an abortion last night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
