if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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