and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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