I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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