hotel room ftw
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
