his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
