I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
