Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
