the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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