I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
