Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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