"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
At least make sure they are 18
Why
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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